This is the kind of thing Whiskey Island uses for their bio section:
“Jim L. Andrews remembers the old Whiskey Island. The hidden paradise of Scotch stacked upon Bourbon stacked upon Rye, reaching straight from the floor to the surface of the Atlantic. Now? Now it’s just a mountain of broken glass, guarded by drunken piranhas. That’s the way the world is going, see? Everything’s just broken glass and piranhas these days.”
I was also considering this one:
“Jim L. Andrews confesses. All the world’s currency was backed, not by gold, but by whiskey. A fine, secret whiskey. When he stole that whiskey, it towered precariously, Babel-like, from the roof of his Mini-van to the clouds. An island of vice, penetrating the sky. And when the Care Bears discovered it, Professor Coldheart’s ultimate victory was assured.”
But for some reason I sent the first.
Tangentially, I keep using different forms of my name in publication. Man. Posterity is going to be pissed.
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oh man. 